he was the easiest baby you could ever imagine. after a few months, some even said he seemed like a man, trapped in a little boy's body. his eyes were so full of thought and light.
and then one day, that easy baby turned into a not so easy baby. one moment so happy and full of love, and the next he seemed to have the weight of the world on those tiny shoulders.
many sleepless nights, and more heartbreak and tears than i care to remember, until one day an explanation. sensory processing disorder...autism spectrum....asperger's syndrome. all things we have become very familiar with in our house. and then everything started to make sense to us, and then most importantly, to him.
some days i just watch him in awe. his ability to connect with people is beautiful. his use & understanding of words so impressive. i fear he will outsmart me any day now.
his love has no bounds.
when he makes a wish at a fountain, he doesn't wish for a new toy, he wishes for all the people in the world to be friends.
when he says a prayer at night in bed, he says he is thankful that God put him in my tummy.
when i didn't know what was going on with him, and was consumed by frustration and fear last year, he told me "i believe in you, mama". i will never, ever forget that moment and the limitless strength it gave me.
if he was in your child's class, or you saw him at the park or a restaurant, you may not notice anything different about him at all. he would probably strike up a very interesting conversation with you and make you laugh. most people that know him well, have a hard time believing the diagnosis. but it is real, it just has so many faces. or should i say disguises?
i've been thinking a lot about the boy he is lately. and how proud i am of his leaps and bounds this year. this obviously effects our family immensely every day and i felt like sharing a little bit of that here.